Trump was worst father ever. Reading 'Disloyal' by Michael Cohen witnessed him constantly belittling and mocking his sons, in front of others. Apparently Jr. longed to go away, but hadn't the guts nor the skills to earn his own way. We all suffer from Fred's mistreatment of Donny.
The bits of that film by Tucker Carlson is absolutely terrifying and may explain a lot about why there are millions of men who are in cultish awe of Trump. But curious if there are similar reasons for so many women to be such avid supporters. We need to understand more about the traumatic experiences that may explain the of MAGA's.
Antonia, I'm not sure that trauma is the main reason behind women supporting tfg. I am a survivor of extensive childhood trauma (who spent years working on dealing with it), and I find no attraction to anything like tfg. I tend to think it's lack of education, and lack of understanding of the help that's available when one has negative experiences to overcome. And lack of willingness to do what's necessary to overcome trauma, if that's what they have experienced.
I actually did not mean that trauma explains how women respond to Trump. But I do think unresolved trauma -- key "unresolved" -- may explain the motivations behind all of the MAGA folk, both men and women. I should have been more clear. And I believe there is much more of the unresolved trauma in the general population than any of us think.
There is absolutely more unresolved trauma of many kinds than we are aware of. I know that the kind of trauma I experienced was always something you didn't talk about. Children these days have more resources than when I was young, but if a child is beaten down enough, fear would probably keep them from using those resources.
I will have to get to the article later, but I want to say that I find your theory very interesting. I can see how fear/shame and make people susceptible "strong" men. I'm sorry you lost your father early. It sounds like you have moved beyond fear/shame. Good for you.
Yes, took some work, but yes. I am very, very curious as to what motivates the MAGA folks to have such a cult-like adoration of Trump since he is so very clearly a horrible man, narcissistic, revengeful, a terrible business person, etc. It is so irrational that the only explanation seems to me to be embedded in a psychological origin. But few, if any people, are talking about this.
Regarding "The Resistance" discussed in the NYT article: It's vital that we have a resistance should Trump 2.0 come into being. But I don't think we can count on the courts defending our rights and freedoms. Why? Because the Trump regime will force out all federal judges who will not commit to always ruling in favor of Trump and Trump policies. How can federal judges be forced out when they have lifetime appointments? Easy when you have a fascist government: They are approached and given a choice: Either agree to support Trump or else leave with a full pension (thus allowing a "Trump judge" to be their replacement).
What happens if a federal judge still refuses to resign? They are first offered a gentle reminder that the names and addresses of all their family members are known and will be doxxed should the judge not "come to his senses". If the judge continues to refuse, the threat is carried out. It won't take more than one or two judges getting accosted or worse before all remaining federal judges either agree to be fully loyal to Trump or else resign. Goodbye independent judiciary.
If you think this cannot happen in America, then look at Hungary, look at Stalinist Russia, look at Putin's Russia, look at Hitler's Germany. Any competent fascist leader will quickly purge the government Justice Department (and also the military leadership). It can happen here and if Trump gets back in the White House, it will!
I'd love to know what was said prior to Kennedy resigning and Trump nominating one of his Terrible Trio of SCOTUS. If they want a judge out, they'll drive the judge out. It won't even be good enough to be a far right judge, to keep one's seat one will have to be a shameless boot licking far right judge.
i registered for the July 23rd conference early this morning - hope there will be other Lucidites there! thanks for championing fathers, Ruth. i wish that former attempts to catalyst a men's movement would have taken off as mainstream culture reduces men to providers and to caricatures of masculinity - hope springs eternal
It is really sad to see how many men are insecure about who they are. Clearly that is why they like, or want to be, so called "strong men". I'm not sure why it is that being hard and mean is equated with strength and power. To me, the strongest men are the ones who can be themselves - human, with emotions - and be caring people.
Agree. Unfortunately, fascism creates a grievance of male victimhood and a resulting backlash against those not considered to be macho enough. Fascism promotes bigotry in general, with gender bigotry being one facet of that. Fascism wants to return the male image to that of the Middle Ages.
I am very grateful to be married to someone who is truly a partner. He is what I would consider a strong man - emotionally healthy. The best part is that neither of us needs to worry about how strong he is. Macho has never impressed me. The idea of returning the image to that of the Middle Ages makes me think about lack of education, just what so many states are trying to do for their schools.
I’ve been wondering how we can celebrate a “Happy Fathers’ Day” while so many fathers and their children have been murdered in occupied Palestine, by apartheid Israel, aided and abetted by the U.S. We need to nurture empathy; mourning honors those needlessly killed—Israelis and Palestinians—while joining the demand for a permanent/unconditional cease-fire and the end to military aid to Israel to mitigate our complicity in the crime of genocide whether due to U.S.bombs or starvation caused by Israel’s siege of the concentration camps that serving as open air prisons.
It seems any sort of celebration requires an inordinate amount of denial and/or dissociation at the expense of the empathy needed as an antidote to the fascist surge at home and abroad. On Fathers’ Day, we must remain cognizant that the genocidal massacres of Palestinians aided and abetted by Biden, is fueling animus towards the latter amongst the Democratic base to the delight of convicted felon, and presidential candidate, DJT.
On Fathers’ Day and every day we ought to be resisting the fascist surge, working with the Lincoln Project and raising the profile of VP Kamala Harris in the event Biden should retire or resign.
Someone proposed each one of us persuade 10 or more commit to voting for Democracy (the Democratic Party) and each of those recruit 10 more, and so on.
Robert, I think it is not an either/or situation. We can cherish our own fathers and also think about how to help those who are suffering in Gaza. Becoming joyless and disconnected from sources of warmth does not ultimately help one resist and in fact taking those moments to celebrate worthy anti-fascists we know and love fuels us to continue the struggle. That's just my opinion.
I have found that it is essential to my health and wellbeing to stay connected to sources of warmth, humor, and love. I would not be able or effective in my grassroots organizing work if I didn't nurture those connections.
Jeff, good point. You might want to ask your Congress person and/or senators. BTW, Trump may be cracking up thanks to the Lincoln Project (pro democracy conservatives) ads . You might share them widely. They are funny and brutal parodies. Time to resist the fascists and campaign for Democracy is now, rather than wait for the elections. So thanks for raising the issue.
I agree, Ruth. You make an important point about showcasing all the many men who are showing the way forward in ways that are quite different than the Marlboro man. Young people need men they can relate to, men who are comfortable with themselves and their relative status.
There is an assessment based on a social neuroscience model of what humans perceive to be threatening: SCARF. Status - Certainty - Autonomy - Relatedness - Fairness. It's free online; taking an assessment and then discussing, writing a paper, or designing an experiential exercise for students would be a way for kids to develop self-awareness and set intentions / goals regarding how they prefer to rsepond versus how they are likely to react when they feel threatened. Adults can do this, too, for example, working with a coach. Socio-emotional learning is essential for humans to develop healthier societies.
At the same time, FB is allowing all sorts of fascist garbage to be placed on its site. If this is their idea of "fair and balanced", they are traitors.
Lets broaden the good wishes on fathers day, to all good men fathers or not, for being supportive and participatory with their friends, et al. There are two fantastic men on my condo board who participate in the running and mgt of our building, and will thank them today.
Ruth, thank you for your post and its beautiful words. What a kind and generous sentiment that should be shared with everyone (particularly men). To boot, you sent a powerful message. Thanks for this!
Trump was worst father ever. Reading 'Disloyal' by Michael Cohen witnessed him constantly belittling and mocking his sons, in front of others. Apparently Jr. longed to go away, but hadn't the guts nor the skills to earn his own way. We all suffer from Fred's mistreatment of Donny.
I read Disloyal a few years ago and found Cohen certainly more credible than his critics. He's admitted and paid the price for his errors and crimes.
Will there be any online option for the anti-autocracy conference? I am very interested but live in Barcelona now.
Nice for you! I don't know yet.
Thank you for the reply!
The bits of that film by Tucker Carlson is absolutely terrifying and may explain a lot about why there are millions of men who are in cultish awe of Trump. But curious if there are similar reasons for so many women to be such avid supporters. We need to understand more about the traumatic experiences that may explain the of MAGA's.
Antonia, I'm not sure that trauma is the main reason behind women supporting tfg. I am a survivor of extensive childhood trauma (who spent years working on dealing with it), and I find no attraction to anything like tfg. I tend to think it's lack of education, and lack of understanding of the help that's available when one has negative experiences to overcome. And lack of willingness to do what's necessary to overcome trauma, if that's what they have experienced.
I actually did not mean that trauma explains how women respond to Trump. But I do think unresolved trauma -- key "unresolved" -- may explain the motivations behind all of the MAGA folk, both men and women. I should have been more clear. And I believe there is much more of the unresolved trauma in the general population than any of us think.
There is absolutely more unresolved trauma of many kinds than we are aware of. I know that the kind of trauma I experienced was always something you didn't talk about. Children these days have more resources than when I was young, but if a child is beaten down enough, fear would probably keep them from using those resources.
Fear and shame are big motivators of behavior and being abused as a child, or even loosing your father early in your life (as I did) can be a cause of fear and shame. I'm not totally sure how it works, but there I believe there is a link between fear/shame and political belief. Here is an article from the UK that talks about that. https://www.transformingsociety.co.uk/2022/03/17/their-shame-and-our-pride-how-the-radical-right-uses-emotions-for-political-gain/
I will have to get to the article later, but I want to say that I find your theory very interesting. I can see how fear/shame and make people susceptible "strong" men. I'm sorry you lost your father early. It sounds like you have moved beyond fear/shame. Good for you.
Yes, took some work, but yes. I am very, very curious as to what motivates the MAGA folks to have such a cult-like adoration of Trump since he is so very clearly a horrible man, narcissistic, revengeful, a terrible business person, etc. It is so irrational that the only explanation seems to me to be embedded in a psychological origin. But few, if any people, are talking about this.
Agree!
Lost my father as a child but uncles stepped up. All but one are gone now and I miss them terribly.
I am sure you do
Will the NYU conference be live-streamed? It’s so important that it should be made available to a larger audience.
I don't know yet
Robert Bly's book, Iron John, comes to mind, Ruth, when you write there is no paternal equivalent to Mo'ms Demand Action. I need to reread it.
The subtitle of poet Robert Bry's book is, A Book about Men.
Regarding "The Resistance" discussed in the NYT article: It's vital that we have a resistance should Trump 2.0 come into being. But I don't think we can count on the courts defending our rights and freedoms. Why? Because the Trump regime will force out all federal judges who will not commit to always ruling in favor of Trump and Trump policies. How can federal judges be forced out when they have lifetime appointments? Easy when you have a fascist government: They are approached and given a choice: Either agree to support Trump or else leave with a full pension (thus allowing a "Trump judge" to be their replacement).
What happens if a federal judge still refuses to resign? They are first offered a gentle reminder that the names and addresses of all their family members are known and will be doxxed should the judge not "come to his senses". If the judge continues to refuse, the threat is carried out. It won't take more than one or two judges getting accosted or worse before all remaining federal judges either agree to be fully loyal to Trump or else resign. Goodbye independent judiciary.
If you think this cannot happen in America, then look at Hungary, look at Stalinist Russia, look at Putin's Russia, look at Hitler's Germany. Any competent fascist leader will quickly purge the government Justice Department (and also the military leadership). It can happen here and if Trump gets back in the White House, it will!
In our case it will be an incompetent fascist leader who would do that…
https://twitter.com/ElevenFilms/status/1049449309790322688
I'd love to know what was said prior to Kennedy resigning and Trump nominating one of his Terrible Trio of SCOTUS. If they want a judge out, they'll drive the judge out. It won't even be good enough to be a far right judge, to keep one's seat one will have to be a shameless boot licking far right judge.
i registered for the July 23rd conference early this morning - hope there will be other Lucidites there! thanks for championing fathers, Ruth. i wish that former attempts to catalyst a men's movement would have taken off as mainstream culture reduces men to providers and to caricatures of masculinity - hope springs eternal
It is really sad to see how many men are insecure about who they are. Clearly that is why they like, or want to be, so called "strong men". I'm not sure why it is that being hard and mean is equated with strength and power. To me, the strongest men are the ones who can be themselves - human, with emotions - and be caring people.
100%.
Thank you, Ted!
Agree. Unfortunately, fascism creates a grievance of male victimhood and a resulting backlash against those not considered to be macho enough. Fascism promotes bigotry in general, with gender bigotry being one facet of that. Fascism wants to return the male image to that of the Middle Ages.
I am very grateful to be married to someone who is truly a partner. He is what I would consider a strong man - emotionally healthy. The best part is that neither of us needs to worry about how strong he is. Macho has never impressed me. The idea of returning the image to that of the Middle Ages makes me think about lack of education, just what so many states are trying to do for their schools.
I’ve been wondering how we can celebrate a “Happy Fathers’ Day” while so many fathers and their children have been murdered in occupied Palestine, by apartheid Israel, aided and abetted by the U.S. We need to nurture empathy; mourning honors those needlessly killed—Israelis and Palestinians—while joining the demand for a permanent/unconditional cease-fire and the end to military aid to Israel to mitigate our complicity in the crime of genocide whether due to U.S.bombs or starvation caused by Israel’s siege of the concentration camps that serving as open air prisons.
It seems any sort of celebration requires an inordinate amount of denial and/or dissociation at the expense of the empathy needed as an antidote to the fascist surge at home and abroad. On Fathers’ Day, we must remain cognizant that the genocidal massacres of Palestinians aided and abetted by Biden, is fueling animus towards the latter amongst the Democratic base to the delight of convicted felon, and presidential candidate, DJT.
On Fathers’ Day and every day we ought to be resisting the fascist surge, working with the Lincoln Project and raising the profile of VP Kamala Harris in the event Biden should retire or resign.
Someone proposed each one of us persuade 10 or more commit to voting for Democracy (the Democratic Party) and each of those recruit 10 more, and so on.
Robert, I think it is not an either/or situation. We can cherish our own fathers and also think about how to help those who are suffering in Gaza. Becoming joyless and disconnected from sources of warmth does not ultimately help one resist and in fact taking those moments to celebrate worthy anti-fascists we know and love fuels us to continue the struggle. That's just my opinion.
I have found that it is essential to my health and wellbeing to stay connected to sources of warmth, humor, and love. I would not be able or effective in my grassroots organizing work if I didn't nurture those connections.
Why is there not a way for citizens to participate in the Stop the Project 2025 Task Force formed by Congressional Dems?
Jeff, good point. You might want to ask your Congress person and/or senators. BTW, Trump may be cracking up thanks to the Lincoln Project (pro democracy conservatives) ads . You might share them widely. They are funny and brutal parodies. Time to resist the fascists and campaign for Democracy is now, rather than wait for the elections. So thanks for raising the issue.
I agree, Ruth. You make an important point about showcasing all the many men who are showing the way forward in ways that are quite different than the Marlboro man. Young people need men they can relate to, men who are comfortable with themselves and their relative status.
There is an assessment based on a social neuroscience model of what humans perceive to be threatening: SCARF. Status - Certainty - Autonomy - Relatedness - Fairness. It's free online; taking an assessment and then discussing, writing a paper, or designing an experiential exercise for students would be a way for kids to develop self-awareness and set intentions / goals regarding how they prefer to rsepond versus how they are likely to react when they feel threatened. Adults can do this, too, for example, working with a coach. Socio-emotional learning is essential for humans to develop healthier societies.
Thanks for sharing this, the test was quick, interesting, and free at https://neuroleadership.com/research/tools/nli-scarf-assessment/
Cool. Glad you did it. Thanks for sharing the link.
Facebook seems anti-Democracy. I posted the link to the Autocracy Threat Tracker and they took it down..
Same thing happened to me. I'm disputing it. Waiting to hear back from them.
At the same time, FB is allowing all sorts of fascist garbage to be placed on its site. If this is their idea of "fair and balanced", they are traitors.
yes this happened to everyone. We are investigating with Meta.
Lets broaden the good wishes on fathers day, to all good men fathers or not, for being supportive and participatory with their friends, et al. There are two fantastic men on my condo board who participate in the running and mgt of our building, and will thank them today.
In the late 1980s to the early 1990s I witnessed many men “finding themselves” via the men’s movement. I saw the potential toxicity then.
Fascism is simply an accelerant to the "men's movement" fire.
Ruth, thank you for your post and its beautiful words. What a kind and generous sentiment that should be shared with everyone (particularly men). To boot, you sent a powerful message. Thanks for this!